Today is day seven in a row of BABY. During the week, I am a stay-at-home mom, but most weekends, I work. I work for a few reasons. One, we can use the money. Two, I need to get out of this house and away from my angel nugget at least once a week. Jack is my joy. The moment I leave him, I miss him. The second I put him to bed, I want to pick him back up and hold him watch him sleep. When I hear him in the morning, I love walking into his room and seeing his smile as we start our day together. That being said, as most parents know, I NEED A BREAK.
My husband is working this weekend, and while he was sweet enough to take us out to breakfast yesterday, most of this week has been just me and Jack. I am so grateful for the time we get to spend together, but as Jack gets older, he requires more and more of my constant attention. He is handing me things, bringing me books to read him, and pointing at things and whining until I make his wordless wishes come true. Every 30 seconds today, he wanted me to put on and take off his shoes. It’s a great learning opportunity. I get to say “shoe on” and “shoe off” about four hundred times, hoping that one day-ONE DAY-this little person will attempt to say “shoe” back to me.
Staying at home isn’t hard labor. I’m not moving boulders or turning patients all day, but it is the most mentally exhausting job I’ve ever had. I think spending all day, everyday with a toddler is almost as challenging as an isolation room. While I am not alone, I am also not with someone who can offer me any sort of intellectual stimulation. Jack doesn’t think my puns are clever. He doesn’t watch Big Brother. He doesn’t have a social life to tell me about or a funny story to share. Every thing he does is adorable. I love to watch him play and explore. I love to read him books and tickle him and chase him around the house. His laugh is incredible. Sometimes, though-around day five- I have to fight the desire to go into total sloth-boredom mode. I am so bored I am lethargic. I feel incredibly lonely even though Rick is sleeping in the next room. I can’t WAIT until Rick wakes up and SPEAKS to me. WE CAN WATCH GROWN UP SHOWS and Rick can feed himself without assistance. When he walks into the room, I honestly think I am as excited as my tail-wagging dogs are to see him.
Until my husband wakes up to entertain me, I have to do things to keep myself from falling into that state of monotony. Usually, I can get through day five easily because I know that on day six, I will get a break. I will go to work and talk to English speaking adults about their adult things. I will walk around all day in my grown-up scrubs doing my grown-up job. There might be poop, but it will be grown-up poop. It is refreshing. It recharges me for the next week of Toddlerdom.
I have plenty to do around the house. Errands and what-not, but in order to do them, I can’t allow myself to fall into that mood. Blogging is a great way to feel like I’m reaching out to adults, but it’s something not easily done with a toddler crawling into and out of my lap.
Facebook, though. Oh, Facebook, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways! I’ve heard some bad words against people like me, who are always on Facebook. Some people think that us SAHM’s have nothing to do. That we just sit on the couch all day and check Facebook. That we ignore our children and are on social media twenty four seven. Facebook is actually the only thing I can do for me without ignoring my child. Facebook is one of the few things I can do for only a few seconds at a time throughout my day. Directly from my convenient hand-held device, I can see photos of friends and their travels, read statuses about what other people’s kids did to ruin their furniture, and laugh at Grumpy Cat memes. I can comment sarcastically or hilariously or seriously or lovingly on someone’s post and we can have a virtual conversation. I feel connected to the rest of the world. I am reminded that Jack and I are not the only two people left on the planet. I feel “socialized” and am able to talk myself into getting off my butt and cleaning the dining room like I said I would this morning.
Work recharges me for the week. Facebook recharges me for the little moments throughout the day when I need that reminder. I am not alone.