Mother Of Two

Isn’t it weird how we’re always in some specific phase of life that we don’t exactly acknowledge until it’s passed?  That sentence felt complicated.  What I mean, though, is kind of complicated.  Okay, so right now, I have two kids, right?  Yes.  Yes, I do.  I am aware of that, but because I am going through this right now, it’s hard to appreciate it.  There are the little moments when Jack is sweetly talking to Juliet that I can stop and step outside of myself and see that I am so lucky.  These are moments I’m sure I’ll have to remind myself of when they both get a little older and start liking each other a little less. Continue reading

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Y2K AND THREENAGERS

Y’all remember Y2K?  If you don’t, congratulations, you are incredibly and luckily young.  I was in 7th grade when I was first warned.  My science teacher, an older gentleman, made it very clear that we were to be prepared.  The computers.  ALL THE COMPUTERS.  Like….Errrrrwhere….were going to shut down.  For some reason, this meant the world was pretty much going to stop working.  Because the computers…um…I don’t know….didn’t know what year it was or something.  Like I said, I was in 7th grade.   Continue reading

When People Are Mean

Oh, Lord, y’all. I’ve already shared this part of myself with you. I have a few pet peeves, but the number one tear-my-hair-out, blindly screaming, call your mother and tell her what you did peeve is meanness. When someone is mean to me or someone I love I go from super chill Becca to white trash redneck angry girl whose name is not pronounceable through her gritted teeth. Having a child has taken these psychotic episodes to another level-and because usually the perpetrator is aged in the single digits, I have to control myself during these times more than ever. Have you ever wanted to grab a 6-year-old by the ear and drag him away while his mother watched? No. Uh. Right. Me neither. Continue reading

Mama’s Getting Married-And Everyone Is Freaking Out About My Dad

A few weeks ago, she called me.  “Is your dad okay?!” she asked in her WHAT THE HELL voice.  I was confused.  “Yes.  I think so.  I haven’t talked to him today, but I think he’s okay. I don’t understand.”  Explaining further, Mom had been asked by several people how Dad is “dealing” with her upcoming nuptials.  A few others had asked if she was inviting her ex-husband to the wedding.  “That’s funny, Mom!  I’ve been asked, too.”

I had.  People I really don’t even know that well had asked me in sympathetic voices, “How’s your Dad doing with your mom getting remarried?”  First of all, if he were miserable, I definitely wouldn’t tell you that, but the thing is-he isn’t.  Secondly, the conversation was never started with “Congratulations!  I’m glad your mom is happy.” I always awkwardly explain that Dad is quite happy.  He’s happy with his life, and he’s happy for my mom.   If you’re reading this and thinking “Oh, God.  I was the one she’s talking about.”  you are one of many, and I’m not mad at you.  I just thought maybe you’d like to read the way your words sound from our perspective in case you find yourself in a similar situation in the future. Continue reading

Thirty Years of Lessons

Guess what, guys?!  I’m THIIIIRRRTTTTYYYY!  Holy cow.  That’s insane.  It’s not old, but I’ve been in my twenties for so long….about ten years now.  It’s weird, you know?  I’m not old enough to know if birthdays will really affect me the way they do some people, but I really don’t think they will.  Working with the elderly, I’ve learned that getting old really isn’t about the number, it’s about your quality of life.  I’ve seen a very old fifty year old and a very young eighty year old.  All that being said, this week, I bought a bag of lemons to drink lemon water every day.  On my birthday wish list are: Running shoes, Fitbit, and skin care products, so obviously somewhere in my mind I’m fighting the aging process.  I just hope I’m a young older person for as long as possible.  While thirty isn’t old, it has certainly been long enough to learn a few life lessons.  Through the years, I’ve grown a bit wiser.  I’ve learned a lot, and have a lot left to learn, but here are thirty things I’ve learned in each year of my three decades: Continue reading

I Wanted A Girl

My whole life, I knew I wanted a little girl.  She would have blonde hair and blue eyes just like me.  She’d be funny and sarcastic and she would LOVE The Little Mermaid.  (Narcissistic much?)  I think part of my girl-wanting was due to wishing I had a sister.  Obviously, I grew up and realized that children weren’t around specifically to entertain their parents, but still, I wanted a girl.  Even as a teenager, I’d see those adorable little dresses at Target and think, “One day.”   Continue reading

How I Found Solidarity At Barnes And Noble

I feel lame that so many of my stories start with “Today, at Barnes and Noble”.  What an exciting life I lead.  Other than the park, it’s the only free place to hang out with my kid who constantly reminds me that he wants to go somewhere by walking to the door and demanding, “bye bye!”  There are always interactions there.  A grown up to talk to is my favorite part, but I also like observing everyone’s parenting styles.

A few days ago, Jack and I had to leave early because he wouldn’t stop trying to take another little boy’s juice.  It got to the point where I had no choice, but to leave.  The woman said politely, “He must be thirsty,” which I self-consciously took as “Do you not give your baby beverages?”  I swore to the woman that my child had plenty of fluids that day, and went into obnoxious details about how her son’s cup looked like Jack’s old cup and yada yada yada please-don’t-think-I-severely-dehydrate-my-kid jargon.  The annoying part of all of this is that she was just trying to keep things light-hearted while my little beast was violently trying to rob her.  Still, I couldn’t help but take her comment way too personally.  Of course this woman doesn’t think my child is dying of thirst.  Of course he’s just in a “I want that cup or I will cut you” kind of mood.  All two year olds go through that horrendous phase where they don’t understand that every object on earth is not their personal property.  Why then, do I feel the need to explain myself or the behavior of my toddler?  All anyone has to do is look at him and know that he’s doing what he’s doing because he’s a tiny human-and tiny humans are selfish. Continue reading