“Why are we here and Hobbes is in Heaven? Why do we have to go to school and boys and girls in Heaven don’t? Why are we here if the Earth is not that great and Heaven is perfect?” my five year old son asks me with tears in his eyes. I would usually say he was doing his usual bedtime filibuster, but we did just lose our precious dog, Hobbes, a little over a month ago. The terrible understanding that death is permanent has hit Jack earlier than I had hoped. Continue reading
I think romantic comedies are based entirely on people’s fantasies of how love and marriage are supposed to look. Boy and girl meet, fall in love, have some drama, resolve said drama, and live happily ever after. While I enjoy a good fairy tale, the repetitiveness of this exact story is incredibly dangerous to modern marriage. It doesn’t show Cindy and Charming then learn to live together, figure out how much time they want to dedicate to each other, maneuver life with certain expectations, and recognize unique undertones of each others’ words. Cinderella might have babies one day. She’s going to instantly form an entirely uncharted and incredibly important relationship with a new little person and she might have some confusion as to her new dual role as princess wife and mother. Or what if Cindy doesn’t want kids? And Charming does? Did they discuss this before they decided to get married? Probably not. They’ve barely even met. Cinderella doesn’t even have anyone to confide in but a mouse and a jolly old witch. The sequel might be a rough one. Continue reading
Picture yourself in a small white house, in a pink room with white wicker furniture, lying on a bedspread covered in a signature 1990’s rose pattern. You are 7 years old. Your best friend can’t come over this weekend, you are sick of the same old toys, you’ve been staring at your ceiling fan for 20 minutes, and you are bored out of your little mind. You walk into your parents’ room and desperately proclaimed, “I. Am. So. BORED!”
Then, she looks at you. The classic Mom look, her gigantic glasses reflecting back at you with a confident smirk. She knows exactly what to say. “If you’re bored, I’m sure I can find something for you to do.” Continue reading
So, I haven’t mentioned this amazing visit yet because a huge part of it was the fact that my husband was gone for several weeks hiking the Appalachian Trail. That is a story in itself, but it is important to mention as this blog is about nurturing friendships and providing self care-specifically when your world has been temporarily flipped upside down. I was excited for Rick to live out a dream of his and having young children with easy schedules made this one of the few appropriate times of our life to go on such a wild adventure. So…just to set the scene…Sarah, my BFF since childhood knew I was going to have some long weekends without my husband and planned a rescue visit for a long weekend in June.
I’ve blogged about Sarah before here. We’ve known each other since we were four. She has since moved to Durham where she works as a pediatric acute care nurse practitioner because she is BOSS. To me, though, she’s just Sawah. And I’m just Rebecca. And we’re just the same kids we’ve always been, but with grown up jobs and homes and husbands and all that weird stuff. Here is a picture of us from childhood to remind you that we weren’t always the perfect goddesses we are today: Continue reading
I don’t know at what point I got lucky enough to truly value my friendships. Maybe it was the summer before second grade. Our house had burned down and we were taken in by many families in our town. It is hard to remember how long I stayed at each place, but I was never afraid. I don’t think it’s normal to worry about homelessness when you lose your home at the ripe old age of seven, but I didn’t have to find out. Our friends (my parents’ friends) stepped up and made sure we had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. Continue reading
Y’all remember Y2K? If you don’t, congratulations, you are incredibly and luckily young. I was in 7th grade when I was first warned. My science teacher, an older gentleman, made it very clear that we were to be prepared. The computers. ALL THE COMPUTERS. Like….Errrrrwhere….were going to shut down. For some reason, this meant the world was pretty much going to stop working. Because the computers…um…I don’t know….didn’t know what year it was or something. Like I said, I was in 7th grade. Continue reading
Wow, you guys. I’ve gotten a lot of feed back from my last post, Why You Should Visit Your Confused Loved One-Even If It Makes You Sad. Thank you for sharing 261 times! If it makes just one person decide to go visit their loved one, I will be ecstatic. So, a few people have brought up some questions about HOW to visit your confused one. They’re ready to put on their thoughtful pants and visit, but they aren’t sure what to do once they get there. My friend Makenna Buffington lost her father to Alzheimer’s. She knows first hand how important it is to visit and through her experiences, has given me some great pointers on how to visit someone who is confused. How do you visit? What do you say? What do you not say? How do you connect? What about the awkwardness? Makenna and I have put together some helpful tips through our own personal visits with our family members, while it is aimed towards moderate to severe dementia, these words can serve as a guide for any stage: Continue reading
I visited my Grandbetty’s old house last week and it brought back a flood of memories (no pun intended). I wrote a blog about my Grandbetty after Alzheimer’s, but most of my memories are of her before. When she knew my name. When she wanted to take a thousand pictures of me by her azalea bushes. When she wanted to feed me, even when I wasn’t hungry. I was with her when she died. I sat with her several times a week for the two years she didn’t know me anymore. She was still the same person, just confused. Sometimes, she would get angry. Not often, but sometimes. If she got angry with me, I would leave the room and collect myself. I wasn’t mad at her, but I was hurt. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know what she was saying. Words hurt. I had to cry a little and then I had to come back-because this was the only time in her entire life when she REALLY needed me. Continue reading
So, remember a week or so ago when I told you about my weird day leading me to my grandparents’ old house and then to their graves? And remember when the really nice people who own it now, Tami and Patrick, invited me to come see it? Well, today was the day! My dad and I, along with my mom and stepdad swung by the old place today where we were graciously welcomed by the “new” homeowners. They’ve actually owned the house for three years now, so while it isn’t new for them anymore, being there without my grandparents was very, very new. The main word that comes to mind when I think of our visit today is closure. I was worried I’d leave their home with sad memories, but instead I felt overjoyed. Let me tell you why…. Continue reading
Today was so weird, ya’ll. I was traveling for work and just wasn’t in the mood. I’d been driving in the middle of nowhere for hours with no cell phone service and limited radio options. Just when I decided to just go home and give up on today, I saw a sign: Americus 10 miles. The town that I practically grew up in. The town where my grandparents used to live. Just ten little miles? I had to go drive by the old house. Continue reading
The Munchkin Nugget 