My New Job

I haven’t really talked too much about my new job because I was afraid it was too good to be true.  Having actually worked it a few weeks and gotten good feedback from my new boss, I think it might finally be safe to mention.  When Jack was born, Rick and I both wanted me to stay at home as much as possible.  I was a daycare baby (and obviously turned out totally fine), but for some reason, it was just something I wanted.  When I actually met my child, I KNEW it was something I wanted.  When he turned six weeks old and I didn’t have to go back to work, I was elated.  I was exhausted and happy and fat and miserable and my body was nowhere near fully recovered from birthing a human being.  I remember thinking about the many women who (by choice or by need) send their infants to daycare and return to full time at six weeks.  How do they do it?!  I didn’t get a full night’s sleep for the first six months of Jack’s life.  I can’t imagine adding a full time job to the mix.  It is seriously insane to me that six weeks is the norm.   Continue reading

The Boy Who Loved Shoes

As I sit at Barnes and Noble, and watch my child and his new friend play together (and thank the book gods for the train table’s return), I realize that I’ve nearly forgotten my melancholy attitude some twenty minutes ago.  Having a moment to breathe, I can step outside of myself and examine the cause of this acute depression.  It’s shoes. Continue reading

When Toddlers Attack

As I am writing this, my little angel dumplin’ is chillin’ in his crib, singing happy songs about how much he loves his mother because of my undying affection for him.  He is holding his Momo blankie and thinking of all the fun times he had with me today. Like when he threw that soup can at my head.  Or when he picked up a baseball bat and hit me as hard as he could.  Or, here is the best part, when he grabbed a glass bowl that I was eating from and hit me directly in the nose and I seriously thought it was broken.  His favorite part of the day, I’m sure, is laughing at me as I tried to get him to stay in “the time out corner”.  This escape from baby prison game is THE BEST!  You know how psychopaths on TV like to smile as they’re about to torture their victims?  Well, I think my baby might be a psychopath.  This brings me to a quick flashback story.  It’s the reason I’m here-in this amazing situation.  It’s the reason for my punishment. Continue reading

A Toast To Second Firsts

As I sit here watching my beautiful little angel puff attempting to eat his Disney pasta and peas, I can’t help but reminisce of a specific moment in my life.  It was right after my wisdom teeth had been taken out.  I was attempting to feed myself some Kraft Mac and Cheese (THE BEST PASTA IN A BOX EVER), but was so  discombobulated that I couldn’t find my mouth.  It was so frustrating.  I was starving and all I wanted more than anything in the world was the delicious, orange, mushy-ness in my pie hole.  Instead, I stabbed my cheeks repeatedly with four tiny knives like a drunken idiot. Continue reading

Why My Job And My Facebook Account Are Equally Important

Today is day seven in a row of BABY.  During the week, I am a stay-at-home mom, but most weekends, I work.  I work for a few reasons.  One, we can use the money.   Two, I need to get out of this house and away from my angel nugget at least once a week.  Jack is my joy.  The moment I leave him, I miss him.  The second I put him to bed, I want to pick him back up and hold him watch him sleep.  When I hear him in the morning, I love walking into his room and seeing his smile as we start our day together.  That being said, as most parents know, I NEED A BREAK. Continue reading

The Random Times When I Feel Like A Grown Up

Growing up, I remember day-dreaming of the day I would reach adulthood.  I would fantasize about driving a car, going to a restaurant without my parents, learning to say my “R”s, and other such exciting things.  My best friend, Sarah(Sawah), and I had a regular “game” we’d pull from our repertoire we called “college girls”.  We would go on imaginary dates with broomsticks (I can’t make this stuff up) and come back to our super chic apartment and talk about how our nights went.  As I grew older and reached new milestones in life, I’d wonder when I would really feel like an adult. Continue reading