I Wanted A Girl

My whole life, I knew I wanted a little girl.  She would have blonde hair and blue eyes just like me.  She’d be funny and sarcastic and she would LOVE The Little Mermaid.  (Narcissistic much?)  I think part of my girl-wanting was due to wishing I had a sister.  Obviously, I grew up and realized that children weren’t around specifically to entertain their parents, but still, I wanted a girl.  Even as a teenager, I’d see those adorable little dresses at Target and think, “One day.”   Continue reading

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God Never Said Life Would Be Easy

In the midst of another tragedy, the age old question is recirculating: “Why does God let bad things happen?”  If God is real and great and powerful, why does He just sit back and watch as our lives take what seem like meaningless, harsh twists and turns?  Why did He let my grandmother get Alzheimer’s?  Why did He let my friend get murdered?  Why did He allow 9/11?  Why did He let a psychopath go through with a mass shooting?  Why does He allow a woman carry a baby and then let it be born without a heartbeat? Continue reading

The Reasons I Cry

I cry all the time.  I’m not depressed.  I’m actually a pretty happy person.  Life hands me some lemons, but usually it’s all lemonade and smiles around here.  Show me a commercial with the perfect soundtrack and a well developed story line and I’ll show you an admiring consumer attempting to hold back the tears.  You know that really awkward scene in American Beauty?  Where weird guy next door describes the movement of a plastic bag floating around in the wind (pre-Katy Perry, thank you very much) and he starts crying at the beauty of it?  I was right there with him.  Yes, emo-stoner-guy!  Yes!  There is beauty in trash!  Normal isn’t beautiful!  Pain is in beauty and beauty is in PAIN! Continue reading

Why My Job And My Facebook Account Are Equally Important

Today is day seven in a row of BABY.  During the week, I am a stay-at-home mom, but most weekends, I work.  I work for a few reasons.  One, we can use the money.   Two, I need to get out of this house and away from my angel nugget at least once a week.  Jack is my joy.  The moment I leave him, I miss him.  The second I put him to bed, I want to pick him back up and hold him watch him sleep.  When I hear him in the morning, I love walking into his room and seeing his smile as we start our day together.  That being said, as most parents know, I NEED A BREAK. Continue reading

Pregnant And Afraid: What You Need To Know

After recently listening to a girl who was pregnant with her first child share her anxiety about her upcoming childbirth, I was inspired to quickly jot down important things I learned from my own experience.  While I read the books and took the classes, there were still some things I didn’t think about until after I checked in.  Also, several of the things I was anxious about turned out to be quite trivial in hindsight. Continue reading

The Silver Lining of Alzheimer’s Disease

Colonel C.T. Boys, Betty's husband and my Papa
Colonel C.T. Boys, Betty’s husband and my Papa

There she was, both feet planted on the headboard, staring at the enormous portrait hanging above her bed.  She admired the man in the picture and the work of the artist, not knowing that it was actually she who had painted it.  She couldn’t place him, but she knew him.  She would do this so often that eventually the painting was removed.  It was dangerous for her to flip around in bed all the time and it confused her to wonder who the man was and why she seemed to know this piece so well.  Her son took it home with him and hung it on his own wall.  He could appreciate the memory of his father without doing somersaults off the furniture. Continue reading