It’s Okay To Be Bored

Picture yourself in a small white house, in a pink room with white wicker furniture, lying on a bedspread covered in a signature 1990’s rose pattern.  You are 7 years old.  Your best friend can’t come over this weekend, you are sick of the same old toys, you’ve been staring at your ceiling fan for 20 minutes, and you are bored out of your little mind.  You walk into your parents’ room and desperately proclaimed, “I. Am. So. BORED!”

Then, she looks at you.  The classic Mom look, her gigantic glasses reflecting back at you with a confident smirk.  She knows exactly what to say.  “If you’re bored, I’m sure I can find something for you to do.” Continue reading

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The Best Time Of Our Lives

I look back at high school and laugh at myself. Things that were such a big deal then are hard to even fully remember now.  Break ups were the worst.  School was hard.  Getting up at 7:30am was such a nightmare.  Juggling an after school/weekend job with school and band practice seemed overwhelming.  I remember a particular break up where I laid on the bathroom floor crying while my dad consoled me. (Thanks Dad)  It was the worst day of my entire life.  Failing a test?  OMG!  My life was over.  When I think of what I considered a serious situation back then, I roll my eyes. Continue reading

Y2K AND THREENAGERS

Y’all remember Y2K?  If you don’t, congratulations, you are incredibly and luckily young.  I was in 7th grade when I was first warned.  My science teacher, an older gentleman, made it very clear that we were to be prepared.  The computers.  ALL THE COMPUTERS.  Like….Errrrrwhere….were going to shut down.  For some reason, this meant the world was pretty much going to stop working.  Because the computers…um…I don’t know….didn’t know what year it was or something.  Like I said, I was in 7th grade.   Continue reading

When People Are Mean

Oh, Lord, y’all. I’ve already shared this part of myself with you. I have a few pet peeves, but the number one tear-my-hair-out, blindly screaming, call your mother and tell her what you did peeve is meanness. When someone is mean to me or someone I love I go from super chill Becca to white trash redneck angry girl whose name is not pronounceable through her gritted teeth. Having a child has taken these psychotic episodes to another level-and because usually the perpetrator is aged in the single digits, I have to control myself during these times more than ever. Have you ever wanted to grab a 6-year-old by the ear and drag him away while his mother watched? No. Uh. Right. Me neither. Continue reading

Thirty Years of Lessons

Guess what, guys?!  I’m THIIIIRRRTTTTYYYY!  Holy cow.  That’s insane.  It’s not old, but I’ve been in my twenties for so long….about ten years now.  It’s weird, you know?  I’m not old enough to know if birthdays will really affect me the way they do some people, but I really don’t think they will.  Working with the elderly, I’ve learned that getting old really isn’t about the number, it’s about your quality of life.  I’ve seen a very old fifty year old and a very young eighty year old.  All that being said, this week, I bought a bag of lemons to drink lemon water every day.  On my birthday wish list are: Running shoes, Fitbit, and skin care products, so obviously somewhere in my mind I’m fighting the aging process.  I just hope I’m a young older person for as long as possible.  While thirty isn’t old, it has certainly been long enough to learn a few life lessons.  Through the years, I’ve grown a bit wiser.  I’ve learned a lot, and have a lot left to learn, but here are thirty things I’ve learned in each year of my three decades: Continue reading

I Wanted A Girl

My whole life, I knew I wanted a little girl.  She would have blonde hair and blue eyes just like me.  She’d be funny and sarcastic and she would LOVE The Little Mermaid.  (Narcissistic much?)  I think part of my girl-wanting was due to wishing I had a sister.  Obviously, I grew up and realized that children weren’t around specifically to entertain their parents, but still, I wanted a girl.  Even as a teenager, I’d see those adorable little dresses at Target and think, “One day.”   Continue reading

How I Found Solidarity At Barnes And Noble

I feel lame that so many of my stories start with “Today, at Barnes and Noble”.  What an exciting life I lead.  Other than the park, it’s the only free place to hang out with my kid who constantly reminds me that he wants to go somewhere by walking to the door and demanding, “bye bye!”  There are always interactions there.  A grown up to talk to is my favorite part, but I also like observing everyone’s parenting styles.

A few days ago, Jack and I had to leave early because he wouldn’t stop trying to take another little boy’s juice.  It got to the point where I had no choice, but to leave.  The woman said politely, “He must be thirsty,” which I self-consciously took as “Do you not give your baby beverages?”  I swore to the woman that my child had plenty of fluids that day, and went into obnoxious details about how her son’s cup looked like Jack’s old cup and yada yada yada please-don’t-think-I-severely-dehydrate-my-kid jargon.  The annoying part of all of this is that she was just trying to keep things light-hearted while my little beast was violently trying to rob her.  Still, I couldn’t help but take her comment way too personally.  Of course this woman doesn’t think my child is dying of thirst.  Of course he’s just in a “I want that cup or I will cut you” kind of mood.  All two year olds go through that horrendous phase where they don’t understand that every object on earth is not their personal property.  Why then, do I feel the need to explain myself or the behavior of my toddler?  All anyone has to do is look at him and know that he’s doing what he’s doing because he’s a tiny human-and tiny humans are selfish. Continue reading