I Wanted A Girl

My whole life, I knew I wanted a little girl.  She would have blonde hair and blue eyes just like me.  She’d be funny and sarcastic and she would LOVE The Little Mermaid.  (Narcissistic much?)  I think part of my girl-wanting was due to wishing I had a sister.  Obviously, I grew up and realized that children weren’t around specifically to entertain their parents, but still, I wanted a girl.  Even as a teenager, I’d see those adorable little dresses at Target and think, “One day.”   Continue reading

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The Girl Who Hates Home Decor

I feel like I’ve let my fellow women down.  Most of my girlfriends and female family members have a wicked fashion sense and an eye for design.  I have never been one to obsess over home decor, or even decorating my own body.  Over the past few years, I’ve discovered scarves, skinny jeans, and riding boots.  It seems to make me appear to have a little fashion sense, but the truth is that I do not.  I can look at a person and tell if they’re dressed well or not, but most of the clothes I own are hand-me-downs from women who dress better than me.  I find  it almost impossible to actually pick out a new and exciting outfit and wear it confidently. Continue reading

Flowcharts For Toddlers

After hearing myself say to my son, “No.  We don’t put our hand in the dog’s butt.” and posting said statement on Facebook, I was inspired by my friend Amber to figure out a way to help toddlers answer the more difficult questions in life.  Often, when saying to Jack, “Don’t lick that!” or “We don’t show our belly button to total strangers, darling.”, he has a very confused expression on his face.  So, after way too much time figuring out how to create flowcharts on free online software, I give you: Flowcharts for Toddlers.  The following should be helpful for your child when a challenging situation arises.  Good luck!

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Why My Job And My Facebook Account Are Equally Important

Today is day seven in a row of BABY.  During the week, I am a stay-at-home mom, but most weekends, I work.  I work for a few reasons.  One, we can use the money.   Two, I need to get out of this house and away from my angel nugget at least once a week.  Jack is my joy.  The moment I leave him, I miss him.  The second I put him to bed, I want to pick him back up and hold him watch him sleep.  When I hear him in the morning, I love walking into his room and seeing his smile as we start our day together.  That being said, as most parents know, I NEED A BREAK. Continue reading

6 Things My Best Friend And I Did As Kids That Make Me Wonder If Our Parents Were Ever Paying Attention

Every once in a while, I’ll have a random flashback to my childhood and go, “What the hell were we THINKING?!”  Especially now, when watching Jack play I like to reminisce of what pretend-time was for me.  I even remember my best friend Sarah and I discussing as children when we didn’t have fun pretending anymore.  It was almost as depressing as finding out “you know who” is really your parents.  We just couldn’t do it.  It wasn’t the same.  I wonder if other kids reached an age where they recognized that their imaginations couldn’t entertain them as well as they used to.  Looking back, some of the things we did for fun was either physically dangerous or psychologically messed up.  It makes me wonder if our parents ever had any idea what the hell we were up to.  Here’s what I mean: Continue reading

Everybody’s Ugly To Somebody

I started writing this blog post over two months ago.  I wasn’t exactly sure what the plan was.  I was inspired to write it because my friend Lenneia posted this beautiful photo collage of yours truly when I was managing a Go-Pro for a white water rafting story that I was lucky enough to participate in:

selfie

Okay, so it isn’t the most flattering of collages.  In fact, Lenneia even had the courtesy to ask me if it was okay that she posted it and offered to remove it.  Of course, I didn’t mind a bit.  I love funny things, and this was hilarious.  I know I’m a fairly attractive person.  I know I have the ability to take cute pictures.  Who cares if the bottom right photo looks like my long lost twin brother?

This reminded me of people I know who have seriously gotten upset with me for posting an unflattering photo of them.  It’s happened more than once, and each time I hadn’t even noticed. Continue reading

Wait. Am I Not Funny?

I’m confused.  Am I not funny?  I seriously thought I was.  I mean…I didn’t think I was so funny that I could be a successful stand-up comedian or anything, but I thought I was funny.  I indulge in good, sarcastic, witty conversations with my acquaintances.  Usually, they laugh when I want them to laugh.  I have great timing, don’t I?  After this weekend, I honestly don’t know.
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