life

Beach Bitches and Busted Biscuits

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And by bitches, I mean incredibly aggressive Pitbulls and their drunkenly idiotic owners who allow their dog to drag them all over the beach and attempt to eat small, innocent terrier puppies-but we’ll get to that later.  Last weekend, I went to the beach with four of my closest friends.  This is our second annual chill trip. There are certain requirements to attend this special event.  You must be incredibly passionate about three things:  Eating, laughing, and doing absolutely nothing.  Oh my gosh, ya’ll.  I am SO good at doing nothing.   Continue reading →

My Husband Is Weird

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This morning, as I was clearing the counter off, I asked Rick while picking up random items, “Is this trash?”  (It’s super weird the things that AREN’T trash, so I’ve learned to ask.)  Anyway, today, he says, “I always write trash on items that are trash.  If it isn’t marked, it isn’t trash.”  Obviously, I don’t have to tell you that this idea would be absolutely ridiculous.  Choosing to write “trash” on something takes more time than throwing the trash in…the trash-but Rick is a man of his word.  I watched him from the living room as he finished the last of the milk, opened the drawer, pulled out a permanent marker, and wrote “TRASH” on the milk jug, setting it back on the counter.  All while complaining that it’s not easy that he has to write “trash” on all of his trash.  I guess the point of this little story is to let you know that my husband is weird.  Like…really weird.  He’s so weird that I am in awe of the creativity required to carry out this weirdness in a hilarious manner.  IMG_3195 Continue reading →

Birthdays Aren’t Just About You

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In case you missed the 291 photos I posted to Facebook of Jack’s 2nd birthday party, I’ll give you a little recap.  Jack turned two, and we had a Chugga Chugga TWO TWO party for him.  I know.  SO LAME.  My twenty two year old self is hardcore eye-rolling right now, but she also doesn’t have a beautiful munchkin nugget whose birth must be celebrated by the masses.  When deciding which theme to choose, I laid out options for Jack.  We were going to have a Ball Party or a Choo Choo Party or a SHOES Party.  In Jack’s very long two years, these are the things he holds most dear.  So, I put a ball, a shoe, and a choo choo on the floor in front of him and asked which one he wanted as his party theme.  I’ve already given away his decision.  He picked up the train and to Amazon Prime we went. Continue reading →

The Importance Of Journaling

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This is kind of a “Heads up!  Things might get boring, soon!” post.  Today, I was looking back at my son’s very first day in the world.  I don’t even remember him looking so tiny.  When I think about holding him, I picture an entirely different person.  The Jack I know morphed into himself around six months old.  So, I started thinking about other events in my life and wishing I remembered exactly what my thoughts were in that moment.  I’ve found a few journals from my childhood that are absolutely fascinating.  At the time, I was just writing about my day.  Who I played with.  Why I am grounded.  Who I have a crush on, etc.  Now, though, it’s so interesting to read my mindset as a twelve year old.  I want to document my life somewhere so that one day, I will have left a record of my existence.  Maybe I’ll be able to see the moment I changed perspectives or turned directions on my path. Continue reading →

Parenthood: When You Think Your Life Is Over

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The first three months of Jack’s life were the worst three of mine.  Because I was the one with the boobs and without a job, I had to wake up every 2 hours of my life.  I didn’t have postpartum depression.  I had postpartum exhaustion. When the nurse left me alone in my hospital room with Jack, I had a total panic attack.  I didn’t know how to breastfeed, soothe, or even hold my baby.  I didn’t know I was supposed to be changing him (I assumed they were doing that).  I didn’t know ANYTHING.  In that moment, with my husband passed out on the couch, I felt so alone.  It was seriously terrifying.  A week later, my mom left and it was just me and Jack, every two hours, non-stop.  I remember thinking my life was over.  What had we done?  This was my life now.  It didn’t help that every day from four to seven, Jack would scream.  He just screamed his little heart out for no apparent reason.  The only thing that calmed him was being swaddled so tight he couldn’t budge and walked around the house briskly.  So, when I wasn’t sleeping, I was either nursing or bouncing around the house singing “You Are My Sunshine” in the happiest voice a walking dead person could muster. Continue reading →

God Never Said Life Would Be Easy

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In the midst of another tragedy, the age old question is recirculating: “Why does God let bad things happen?”  If God is real and great and powerful, why does He just sit back and watch as our lives take what seem like meaningless, harsh twists and turns?  Why did He let my grandmother get Alzheimer’s?  Why did He let my friend get murdered?  Why did He allow 9/11?  Why did He let a psychopath go through with a mass shooting?  Why does He allow a woman carry a baby and then let it be born without a heartbeat? Continue reading →

Apathy Towards Violence

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Today, as my family and I were driving home, we witnessed a woman break a bottle on the back of another woman’s head.  There were four of them.  My husband’s reaction was to pull over and make sure no one was going to kill anybody.  My reaction was total annoyance, as the ladies were fighting in the middle of road, and I wanted to go home.  I felt nothing.  I barely even acknowledged what had happened. Continue reading →

The Reasons I Cry

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I cry all the time.  I’m not depressed.  I’m actually a pretty happy person.  Life hands me some lemons, but usually it’s all lemonade and smiles around here.  Show me a commercial with the perfect soundtrack and a well developed story line and I’ll show you an admiring consumer attempting to hold back the tears.  You know that really awkward scene in American Beauty?  Where weird guy next door describes the movement of a plastic bag floating around in the wind (pre-Katy Perry, thank you very much) and he starts crying at the beauty of it?  I was right there with him.  Yes, emo-stoner-guy!  Yes!  There is beauty in trash!  Normal isn’t beautiful!  Pain is in beauty and beauty is in PAIN! Continue reading →

A Toast To Second Firsts

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As I sit here watching my beautiful little angel puff attempting to eat his Disney pasta and peas, I can’t help but reminisce of a specific moment in my life.  It was right after my wisdom teeth had been taken out.  I was attempting to feed myself some Kraft Mac and Cheese (THE BEST PASTA IN A BOX EVER), but was so  discombobulated that I couldn’t find my mouth.  It was so frustrating.  I was starving and all I wanted more than anything in the world was the delicious, orange, mushy-ness in my pie hole.  Instead, I stabbed my cheeks repeatedly with four tiny knives like a drunken idiot. Continue reading →