Poor acting, worse writing, and cheesy plotlines.  Fuller House might be one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.  It isn’t funny, and so far-the kids have faced ZERO consequences to their actions.  At only three episodes in, DJ’s oldest son has run away.  Under the encouragement of Uncle Joey, all four kids have poured green slime all over the foyer with absolutely no “Danny Tanner life lesson” moments discussing ruining private property, or even a simple “WHO’S GOING TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS!?” from DJ, the new head-of-household.  

Kimmy Gibbler was mildly funny as a teenage girl (or maybe it’s because I watched the show when I was nine), but hasn’t appeared to grow into a woman at all.  It’s shocking that she is presented as having her life together with a successful event planning business because she is still as immature as ever.  As event planning requires a multitude of organizational skills, this is simply unrealistic.  Wait?  What?! Fuller House is unrealistic?!  But.  But.  But Full House was so realistic.  Three dudes living in a multi-million dollar home in San Fran.  Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky moving to the attic, even though Aunt Becky has presumably the same salary as Danny.  Michelle just randomly chilling out in different play pens throughout the house (because babies are super independent).  Do you see where I’m going with this?  FULL HOUSE WAS A TERRIBLE SHOW.

To be fair, so was Seventh Heaven and Family Matters-and I loved them just as much.  I’m not sure if I would watch any of these shows today.  With incredible 2016 sitcoms like Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, and Blackish, I can’t imagine I’d make any time for Full House if it were a new show today.  I don’t think I’d get past the pilot episode without clicking “cancel the recording series” on my DVR.

Nostalgia is a powerful thing.  Seeing the set of Fuller House as an updated version of the original was such a good flashback to my childhood.  When Comet Jr. Jr. (presumably the Tanner’s original dog’s grandson) showed up, I was seriously elated.  They even used the same plot lines of the two older brothers being forced to move to a shared bedroom.  The older one is ticked and the younger one is excited JUST like DJ and Stephanie.  With forced catch phrases and even a jab at MK and Ashley Olson for being the only cast members to decline a reunion, I quickly rejoined Team Tanner.  It isn’t as cute when the adult version of Stephanie says “How rude” or when sixty year old Uncle Joey still uses his trademarked hand motions to say “Cut. It. Out.”, but they’re here.  They’re still here, and we’re all grown up and we’re holding on to the good ol’ days of simple sitcom television.  There are no speedy, intelligent dialogues to follow.  None of these kids are getting knocked up.  Even Stephanie (who has apparently grown up to be a party girl DJ) seems wholesome.

So, while it is probably one of the worst sitcoms on television, it’s not pretending it isn’t.  The producers know exactly what they’re doing and so do the actors.  Super fans just want Full House back.  We don’t care if the chemistry isn’t there. We don’t know if the actors are awful or the writing is just impossible.  We love the characters, the laugh track, and the house we grew up in.  It is like watching our childhood grow up to who we wanted them to be.  Full House was here the whole time, living their lives in a parallel universe while we lived ours.  Fuller House is a terrible show-and I will never quit watching it.