Cinderella Isn’t Real

I think romantic comedies are based entirely on people’s fantasies of how love and marriage are supposed to look.  Boy and girl meet, fall in love, have some drama, resolve said drama, and live happily ever after.  While I enjoy a good fairy tale, the repetitiveness of this exact story is incredibly dangerous to modern marriage.  It doesn’t show Cindy and Charming then learn to live together, figure out how much time they want to dedicate to each other, maneuver life with certain expectations, and recognize unique undertones of each others’ words.  Cinderella might have babies one day.  She’s going to instantly form an entirely uncharted and incredibly important relationship with a new little person and she might have some confusion as to her new dual role as princess wife and mother. Or what if Cindy doesn’t want kids?  And Charming does?  Did they discuss this before they decided to get married?  Probably not.  They’ve barely even met.  Cinderella doesn’t even have anyone to confide in but a mouse and a jolly old witch.  The sequel might be a rough one.  Continue reading

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Grazie! Prego! Scusa!

Right now, an American couple is walking down a cobblestone alley in Rome trying to find their hotel.  The sky is clear and the air is crisp. The husband is confidently walking closer and closer towards the Colosseum attempting to locate their hotel.  He doesn’t want his wife to know that he doesn’t know where he is going.  She knows, buddy.  She knows.  She doesn’t care though, because they’re in Rome…and BAM!  There is the Colosseum, a structure she has only seen in movies and pictures.  I know this is happening right now because it is a beautiful cycle the Romans know too well-and it was us about a week and a half ago.  I wonder how often Romans get a “Scusa, do you know how to get to…”.  Daily?  At least weekly I am sure of it.  We were so grateful for all the kindness of the Italian  people.  Not one of them ignored us or turned us away.  Somehow, the couple always finds their way back to the hotel. Continue reading

Mama’s Getting Married-And Everyone Is Freaking Out About My Dad

A few weeks ago, she called me.  “Is your dad okay?!” she asked in her WHAT THE HELL voice.  I was confused.  “Yes.  I think so.  I haven’t talked to him today, but I think he’s okay. I don’t understand.”  Explaining further, Mom had been asked by several people how Dad is “dealing” with her upcoming nuptials.  A few others had asked if she was inviting her ex-husband to the wedding.  “That’s funny, Mom!  I’ve been asked, too.”

I had.  People I really don’t even know that well had asked me in sympathetic voices, “How’s your Dad doing with your mom getting remarried?”  First of all, if he were miserable, I definitely wouldn’t tell you that, but the thing is-he isn’t.  Secondly, the conversation was never started with “Congratulations!  I’m glad your mom is happy.” I always awkwardly explain that Dad is quite happy.  He’s happy with his life, and he’s happy for my mom.   If you’re reading this and thinking “Oh, God.  I was the one she’s talking about.”  you are one of many, and I’m not mad at you.  I just thought maybe you’d like to read the way your words sound from our perspective in case you find yourself in a similar situation in the future. Continue reading

My Husband Is Weird

This morning, as I was clearing the counter off, I asked Rick while picking up random items, “Is this trash?”  (It’s super weird the things that AREN’T trash, so I’ve learned to ask.)  Anyway, today, he says, “I always write trash on items that are trash.  If it isn’t marked, it isn’t trash.”  Obviously, I don’t have to tell you that this idea would be absolutely ridiculous.  Choosing to write “trash” on something takes more time than throwing the trash in…the trash-but Rick is a man of his word.  I watched him from the living room as he finished the last of the milk, opened the drawer, pulled out a permanent marker, and wrote “TRASH” on the milk jug, setting it back on the counter.  All while complaining that it’s not easy that he has to write “trash” on all of his trash.  I guess the point of this little story is to let you know that my husband is weird.  Like…really weird.  He’s so weird that I am in awe of the creativity required to carry out this weirdness in a hilarious manner.  IMG_3195 Continue reading

The Christian Bully

Before I begin, I would like to say to my fellow bloggers that every once in a while it is really nice to go back to old school pen and paper.  It gives a writer more time to think before writing something she may regret sharing.  How perfect that I find myself without a laptop when wanting to get out my feelings on such a sensitive topic.  As I’m sure any person with a television is aware, gay marriage is now legal in all fifty states of America.  This has disheartened many and has fulfilled dreams that many others never thought possible.  My opinion on the matter is really not what this post is about, but in case you are wondering, I think it is certainly constitutional.   Continue reading

My Parents’ Divorce

When my parents got divorced, I was only a few months away from getting engaged.  Actually, their divorce finalized four days after I got engaged.  At 26 years old, I thought I had dodged the bullet that splits families apart.  I thought, Well, if they aren’t divorced by now, I guess they’re going to stick it out.  Suck it up.  Keep their vows miserably until death do them part and all that. Continue reading