The Point

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“Why are we here and Hobbes is in Heaven?  Why do we have to go to school and boys and girls in Heaven don’t? Why are we here if the Earth is not that great and Heaven is perfect?” my five year old son asks me with tears in his eyes.  I would usually say he was doing his usual bedtime filibuster, but we did just lose our precious dog, Hobbes, a little over a month ago.  The terrible understanding that death is permanent has hit Jack earlier than I had hoped. Continue reading

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Cinderella Isn’t Real

I think romantic comedies are based entirely on people’s fantasies of how love and marriage are supposed to look.  Boy and girl meet, fall in love, have some drama, resolve said drama, and live happily ever after.  While I enjoy a good fairy tale, the repetitiveness of this exact story is incredibly dangerous to modern marriage.  It doesn’t show Cindy and Charming then learn to live together, figure out how much time they want to dedicate to each other, maneuver life with certain expectations, and recognize unique undertones of each others’ words.  Cinderella might have babies one day.  She’s going to instantly form an entirely uncharted and incredibly important relationship with a new little person and she might have some confusion as to her new dual role as princess wife and mother. Or what if Cindy doesn’t want kids?  And Charming does?  Did they discuss this before they decided to get married?  Probably not.  They’ve barely even met.  Cinderella doesn’t even have anyone to confide in but a mouse and a jolly old witch.  The sequel might be a rough one.  Continue reading

Messy Mama

I am a messy person. I’ve been messy since I was born. I’m not kidding. I popped out and grabbed twelve swaddling blankets and threw them about the room. Then, I politely asked the nurse for another one because I had lost the others. Coming home from school, I would violently kick of my shoes. They landed where they landed. The only time I cleaned my room was when my mom would say I couldn’t (insert fun activity here) until I cleaned my room. I had chores. I did chores. I had to help clean the house. I don’t think I can blame this on my parents. I’m scatterbrained inside and out. The best part about this issue is that clutter makes me crazy. It actually makes me feel icky. I am so much sharper and happily in an organized space, but it is in my very being to be messy. Continue reading

It’s Okay To Be Bored

Picture yourself in a small white house, in a pink room with white wicker furniture, lying on a bedspread covered in a signature 1990’s rose pattern.  You are 7 years old.  Your best friend can’t come over this weekend, you are sick of the same old toys, you’ve been staring at your ceiling fan for 20 minutes, and you are bored out of your little mind.  You walk into your parents’ room and desperately proclaimed, “I. Am. So. BORED!”

Then, she looks at you.  The classic Mom look, her gigantic glasses reflecting back at you with a confident smirk.  She knows exactly what to say.  “If you’re bored, I’m sure I can find something for you to do.” Continue reading

Friendship and Self Care

So, I haven’t mentioned this amazing visit yet because a huge part of it was the fact that my husband was gone for several weeks hiking the Appalachian Trail.  That is a story in itself, but it is important to mention as this blog is about nurturing friendships and providing self care-specifically when your world has been temporarily flipped upside down.  I was excited for Rick to live out a dream of his and having young children with easy schedules made this one of the few appropriate times of our life to go on such a wild adventure.  So…just to set the scene…Sarah, my BFF since childhood knew I was going to have some long weekends without my husband and planned a rescue visit for a long weekend in June.

I’ve blogged about Sarah before here.  We’ve known each other since we were four.  She has since moved to Durham where she works as a pediatric acute care nurse practitioner because she is BOSS.  To me, though, she’s just Sawah.  And I’m just Rebecca.  And we’re just the same kids we’ve always been, but with grown up jobs and homes and husbands and all that weird stuff.  Here is a picture of us from childhood to remind you that we weren’t always the perfect goddesses we are today: Continue reading

Friends Old and New

It’s kind of crazy that I was just writing about friendship last week when I got a message from my old pal (and elementary school fiance’) Ari asking if we would like to join him and one of my dear high school BFFs for a day at The Museum of Aviation.  Um.  Yes.  Duh.  What time?

Ari and Anna were two of my very good friends in high school.  Ari and I go WAY back to literally learning how to speak in speech therapy at elementary school.  I knew Anna as a kid, but we didn’t become super good friends until my mom forced me to stop hanging out with the bad kids in middle school.  Luckily, the good kids were also entertaining. Continue reading

Dear High Schoolers: Be Good To Your Friends

I don’t know at what point I got lucky enough to truly value my friendships.  Maybe it was the summer before second grade.  Our house had burned down and we were taken in by many families in our town.  It is hard to remember how long I stayed at each place, but I was never afraid.  I don’t think it’s normal to worry about homelessness when you lose your home at the ripe old age of seven, but I didn’t have to find out.  Our friends (my parents’ friends) stepped up and made sure we had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.   Continue reading