6 Things My Best Friend And I Did As Kids That Make Me Wonder If Our Parents Were Ever Paying Attention

Every once in a while, I’ll have a random flashback to my childhood and go, “What the hell were we THINKING?!”  Especially now, when watching Jack play I like to reminisce of what pretend-time was for me.  I even remember my best friend Sarah and I discussing as children when we didn’t have fun pretending anymore.  It was almost as depressing as finding out “you know who” is really your parents.  We just couldn’t do it.  It wasn’t the same.  I wonder if other kids reached an age where they recognized that their imaginations couldn’t entertain them as well as they used to.  Looking back, some of the things we did for fun was either physically dangerous or psychologically messed up.  It makes me wonder if our parents ever had any idea what the hell we were up to.  Here’s what I mean: Continue reading

Everybody’s Ugly To Somebody

I started writing this blog post over two months ago.  I wasn’t exactly sure what the plan was.  I was inspired to write it because my friend Lenneia posted this beautiful photo collage of yours truly when I was managing a Go-Pro for a white water rafting story that I was lucky enough to participate in:

selfie

Okay, so it isn’t the most flattering of collages.  In fact, Lenneia even had the courtesy to ask me if it was okay that she posted it and offered to remove it.  Of course, I didn’t mind a bit.  I love funny things, and this was hilarious.  I know I’m a fairly attractive person.  I know I have the ability to take cute pictures.  Who cares if the bottom right photo looks like my long lost twin brother?

This reminded me of people I know who have seriously gotten upset with me for posting an unflattering photo of them.  It’s happened more than once, and each time I hadn’t even noticed. Continue reading

What If God Snatched You Up Into Heaven Right Now?

So, I’m reading a little Genesis this afternoon and it’s all, “This dude fathered this guy and this man made this baby who had more babies….”  and  all the sudden this man named Enoch is snatched.  Into Heaven.  Because God and him and like total BFFs.  WHAT?!  Amongst a bunch of boring who-fathered-who hoopla, Enoch disappears.  Here are the verses: Continue reading

Cutting Sandwiches

Every day, as I prepare a meal for my one year old, I think of my dad.  Especially when I’m cutting his sandwiches into perfect little squares so his squishy fingers can shove bite-sized pieces into his mouth.  It reminds me of the meals my dad used to make me.  Peanut butter and jelly was my fav.  Four perfect squares, hold the crust.  Cheese toast was second best.  These bits were even smaller.  Tiny individual toasts with melted cheddar.  Another frequent request was “pink pink”, my word for scrambled eggs.  Dad isn’t quite sure where that came from, but we think I called it that because the eggs came in a pink carton.  I didn’t call scrambled eggs anything, but “pink pink” until I was embarrassingly old. When I am cutting Jack’s sandwiches up for him, I think of my dad and all the fun we had growing up.  All the weird and unique things I did with just my dad and no one else.  Here are just a few of the things that I flashback to while cutting sandwiches: Continue reading

Suck It Up, Buttercup: One Of The Many Times I Embarrassed My Mother

It was my first job ever.  I didn’t even apply for it.  A few days before my first day of high school, I was informed of my new position at Eldercare Pharmacy.  I was to work there after school until 5:30pm.  I was excited.  I’m not sure why.  We hadn’t even discussed that I would get a job in high school.  I guess my parents just thought I should.  Alright, then.

As usual, I hadn’t eaten a thing.  I never woke up in time to eat anything, and I refused to eat the nastiness they served for lunch at school.  No, not even the rubbery pizza with plastic cheese could tempt my palate.  Someone once pointed out to me that I could pack a lunch.  What?  Like, plan ahead?  When?  The night before?  Are you kidding me?  Nope.  Another option would have been bringing money to school for the vending machine, but I didn’t have a job, yet, so…. Continue reading

Wait. Am I Not Funny?

I’m confused.  Am I not funny?  I seriously thought I was.  I mean…I didn’t think I was so funny that I could be a successful stand-up comedian or anything, but I thought I was funny.  I indulge in good, sarcastic, witty conversations with my acquaintances.  Usually, they laugh when I want them to laugh.  I have great timing, don’t I?  After this weekend, I honestly don’t know.
Continue reading

Baby Talk: The Art Of Manipulation

Jack and Myles
Jack and Myles

Today, as Jack and Myles were playing in their car, I overheard something that you might not believe.  I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop.  Myles likes to hit the car really hard and run away while Jack laughs and stays in.  I was just checking to see if everything was alright and that no fingers were at risk for jamnation.  I guess they didn’t notice.  I walked in mid-sentence.  It all seemed like normal toddler babble to me, until…. Continue reading