New England-The Umbrella Incident

Blogs about trips are so hard for me to write because so much happens that I don’t know where to begin.  I don’t want to overwhelm you with every little detail of our five day trip, but I don’t want to forget the good stuff, so I am trying something different.  I’m going to make this a series of short stories so I don’t forget anything while simultaneously not boring the heck out of my readers.  Let me set the scene: Continue reading

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“Those” Girls You Don’t Want To Talk To

You know the type.  They’re pretty, they’re popular, and you just KNOW they’re shallow.  They have no depth.  They think they’re the greatest little tanned bodies south of the Mason Dixon line.  They could wear the exact same outfit as you and be the winner of “Who Wore It Best?” every time.  You know what else they are?  Totally unapproachable.  When they walk up to the group you’re talking with you think, “What do I have to say to her?” and “How can she take this perfectly great conversation and turn it in to something I have no input on whatsoever?”  We all have those girls that we don’t want to talk to.  The girls you don’t even want to see.  Those snotty, two-faced, fancy pants-wearing, jerks.  Ugh.   Continue reading

Beach Bitches and Busted Biscuits

And by bitches, I mean incredibly aggressive Pitbulls and their drunkenly idiotic owners who allow their dog to drag them all over the beach and attempt to eat small, innocent terrier puppies-but we’ll get to that later.  Last weekend, I went to the beach with four of my closest friends.  This is our second annual chill trip. There are certain requirements to attend this special event.  You must be incredibly passionate about three things:  Eating, laughing, and doing absolutely nothing.  Oh my gosh, ya’ll.  I am SO good at doing nothing.   Continue reading

Wait. Am I Not Funny?

I’m confused.  Am I not funny?  I seriously thought I was.  I mean…I didn’t think I was so funny that I could be a successful stand-up comedian or anything, but I thought I was funny.  I indulge in good, sarcastic, witty conversations with my acquaintances.  Usually, they laugh when I want them to laugh.  I have great timing, don’t I?  After this weekend, I honestly don’t know.
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