sarcasm

My Baby Is Not A Papaya And I Am Not Glowing

~ themunchkinnugget ~ 4 Comments

Every single pregnancy website I read presents me with sugar coated facts and photos of perfectly shaped women with basketballs beneath their shirts.  Today, at week 32, I was warned that I may be having some heartburn due to my perfect little jicama (WHATEVER THE HELL THAT IS) pushing up on my stomach, and that taking Tums and propping my head up six inches “may” help.  The truth is, for some reason, God decided it would be a brilliant idea to shove a 3 and 1/2 pound human body in a space that was originally the size of a plum.  Instead of it growing outward or skimming the surface of its host’s organs, it literally moves aside the entire digestive tract until said host’s stomach is literally in her throat.  This is insane.  INSANE.  And propping my head up six inches is not going to help my heartburn.  Nothing can help a person whose stomach is in their throat. Continue reading →

Do You Really Hate Your Job?

~ themunchkinnugget ~ Leave a comment

Do you really hate your job?  Maybe you do.  Maybe, your current job is the worst possible thing you could ever be doing.  Maybe, you need to get the H out of there STAT, but here is another idea.  Maybe, it’s you.  Before you leave a job you hate, ask yourself, “Do I hate every single job I’ve ever had?”  If the answer is “yes”, then you might want to figure out why before job hopping again. Continue reading →