When People Are Mean

Oh, Lord, y’all. I’ve already shared this part of myself with you. I have a few pet peeves, but the number one tear-my-hair-out, blindly screaming, call your mother and tell her what you did peeve is meanness. When someone is mean to me or someone I love I go from super chill Becca to white trash redneck angry girl whose name is not pronounceable through her gritted teeth. Having a child has taken these psychotic episodes to another level-and because usually the perpetrator is aged in the single digits, I have to control myself during these times more than ever. Have you ever wanted to grab a 6-year-old by the ear and drag him away while his mother watched? No. Uh. Right. Me neither. Continue reading

How I Almost Hit A Child With My Car And Why It Made Me So Mad

Tonight, as I was driving to my local grocery store to buy TWO GALLONS OF MILK FOR A DOLLAR (seriously!), a group of pre-teens on their bikes had taken over my street.  They were literally in the middle of and on the both sides of the road-and they did not give a poo that I was driving steadily towards them.  I gave them my classic “What the heck is wrong with you?!” look as one child gave me the finger and another angrily proclaimed, “Something-something-something-lady!” while running towards my car like it had insulted his mother. I don’t know what he thought he was going to do.  I don’t know if he knew what he thought he was going to do, but dammit, he was ready to do it. Continue reading