The Boy Who Loved Shoes

As I sit at Barnes and Noble, and watch my child and his new friend play together (and thank the book gods for the train table’s return), I realize that I’ve nearly forgotten my melancholy attitude some twenty minutes ago.  Having a moment to breathe, I can step outside of myself and examine the cause of this acute depression.  It’s shoes. Continue reading

The Girl Who Hates Home Decor

I feel like I’ve let my fellow women down.  Most of my girlfriends and female family members have a wicked fashion sense and an eye for design.  I have never been one to obsess over home decor, or even decorating my own body.  Over the past few years, I’ve discovered scarves, skinny jeans, and riding boots.  It seems to make me appear to have a little fashion sense, but the truth is that I do not.  I can look at a person and tell if they’re dressed well or not, but most of the clothes I own are hand-me-downs from women who dress better than me.  I find  it almost impossible to actually pick out a new and exciting outfit and wear it confidently. Continue reading

When Toddlers Attack

As I am writing this, my little angel dumplin’ is chillin’ in his crib, singing happy songs about how much he loves his mother because of my undying affection for him.  He is holding his Momo blankie and thinking of all the fun times he had with me today. Like when he threw that soup can at my head.  Or when he picked up a baseball bat and hit me as hard as he could.  Or, here is the best part, when he grabbed a glass bowl that I was eating from and hit me directly in the nose and I seriously thought it was broken.  His favorite part of the day, I’m sure, is laughing at me as I tried to get him to stay in “the time out corner”.  This escape from baby prison game is THE BEST!  You know how psychopaths on TV like to smile as they’re about to torture their victims?  Well, I think my baby might be a psychopath.  This brings me to a quick flashback story.  It’s the reason I’m here-in this amazing situation.  It’s the reason for my punishment. Continue reading